A Beginner’s Guide to Heavy Metal – Part I

Music is one of the strongest ways to convey or heighten one’s emotions. It is more than mere organized sounds; it is also an expression of artistry, creating and enhancing certain atmospheres and feelings for the listener. Various forms of music specialize in establishing certain moods: where dance music can create a fun partying vibe, accordion music usually causes many folks to think of chimps.

There is one musical genre that, to the uninitiated, seems to encompass one particular emotion. That genre is heavy metal. To them, heavy metal and anger are synonymous … from a ‘furrowed brow & muttered cussword’ sort of anger … to a ‘disembowelment of your boyfriend and flushing his shredded remains down a toilet’ kind of ire … depending upon the intensity of the music. But that just isn’t true! OK, it’s not entirely false either, but heavy metal isn’t just about pumping your fist and banging your head against things. It’s about wild partying, terrible hangovers, strange shaped guitars, guys with long hair, the “sign of the horns” hand gesture, and hopefully some kind of redemption buried within all the noise.

Heavy metal itself really doesn’t exist anymore; it’s more of a blanket term for oodles of subgenres that vary in soundscapes and aggression. Plenty of bands in these sub genres don’t even like to think of themselves as heavy metal nowadays. Yes, terms like ‘pretension’ and ‘elitism’ are now as common as words like ‘leather’ and “SATIN RULES!” in the metal spectrum, so the best way to find out if there’s a heavy band for you is to look at the different genres and possibly discover something appealing.

Let’s take a look:

1. Glam Metal: Glossy, catchy and polished with lyrics about fast women and…err…other fast women, glam metal took the world by storm in the mid 80s only to burn itself out by the early 90s when Seattle’s flannel brigade forced people to reconsider that lion mane coifed men with zucchinis inserted within their leopard print spandex pants were not so cool after all. Fronted by men who could tell you the pros and cons of L’Oreal versus Christian Dior, this genre still exists today, yet in a humble state. Occasionally it tries to crawl out of obscurity and into retro-relevance and mainstream awareness, but it hasn’t quite gotten there yet. Unlike most other forms of modern metal, you can actually boogie to the syncopated 4/4 beats or slowdance to the ‘power ballads’. It’s also much more fun than most other metal subgenres since the vibe is generally upbeat, yet it’s good to have a nice bottle of wine nearby in the presence of this aural experience, since you’ll be dealing with some serious cheese.
Some Band Examples: Tesla, Poison

2. Power Metal: Defined by its thunderous drums, melodic guitar solos and odes to dragons, fire, steel, and occasionally the removal of brass bras, the power metal genre is the musical equivalent of the recent film 300. Macho to the point where it doesn’t even realize how homoerotic it is, this genre typically boasts of vocalists who can actually sing, be it either the type of man who somehow misplaced his testicles somewhere in his pre-teens, or those who incorporate a gruffer but still operatic delivery, sort of like Placido Domingo with a bad case of bronchitis. This is some majestic stuff, with full orchestras sometimes adding to that ‘standing on top of a mountain and shouting to the sky with raised fists’ sense of glory. Fans of these groups are an unusually odd mixture of imposing bikers who can woof down a Burger King Double Whopper in two bites without bothering to remove the wrapper, and awkward nerds who daydream about frolicking through grassy fields with naked female elves.
Some Band Examples: Dragonforce, Manowar

3. Death Metal: The music itself is often played with brutally chunky sounding instruments with a heavy bass sound and complex rhythms played extremely fast, but of course the defining aspect of the genre is the infamous “Cookie Monster” vocals…low guttural grunting that’s often completely incoherent even with the lyric sheet right in front of you. To be honest though, if the voice of the Cookie Monster was indeed suddenly replaced by an actual death metal “singer” such as the vocalist of Immolation, this would result in a sudden global collective soiling of diapers and training pants followed by wide eyed toddlers racing towards the nearest adult leg. Subject matter often revolves around radio friendly fare such as cannibalism, mutilation and occasionally Lucifer’s minions, but the musicians themselves typically look like your neighborhood auto mechanics or tattoo artists. A fun thing to do is try and figure out the name of the death metal band on some dude’s shirt…the logos are almost indecipherable. The backs of these T-shirts usually have city names and dates beneath the words “WORLD DOMINATION TOUR”. It’s amazing how many death metal bands have apparently dominated the world each year, yet the world still somehow exists.
Some Band Examples: Immolation, Cannibal Corpse

If the above three heavy metal styles don’t seem all that appealing (which I’m going to guess is most of you readers), maybe the next batch of subgenres in the next installment might capture your fancy! The journey has just begun folks…

Stay tuned for Part II!

–demmons